I agree with this: there’s some moral/ethical, doctrine/advisement/opinion-sharing broadly missing from daily life, for people who don’t have a regular religious practice. I’m not sure what this should look like, but I think about this a lot when thinking about how I might teach morality to my own future children with/without god as framework.
I have no qualms with those who are morally opposed to ivf and other fertility extending practices, but is this a moral opposition to the broader practice of biological material being used in an unnatural way? Where might stem cells for ex. fit into the moral framework?
My ivf-ick was highest when I imagined it as something that couldn't happen to me for whatever crunchy holier than thou reason. This correlated to spending too much time on instagram, where I would see influencers who I thought were too material or too aesthetic to thrive in motherhood doing ivf. I felt like I saw a trend online of women "buying" fertility and then attempting to go on to buy every aspect of motherhood (probably because instagram was their job and they had discount codes to shill--meanwhile I as rotting my brain for free.)
IRL I don't know a lot of ivf moms who fit this stereotype! With limited exception, most ivf moms have done exactly what I would do if I was *in their shoes*. If I were happily committed and could not conceive, of course I would be interested in ivf. Of course. It's easy to say they should break up and find a more compatible mate or accept nature's path for them or relax or what have you if you imagine that it could never happen to you. But if it really really happened to you, would you want to do any of these things?
So ick is great, biologically speaking, but it can also contain some really unfair bias. I think it is true that ivf is probably overprescribed and we need to look at other ways to increase fertility, and I genuinely wonder how couples reconcile the wasted embryos. But also I know that if I had to, I would reconcile them too.
I also think you’re not going to win people to your side and make a strong moral case against IVF by just saying it grosses you out, because let’s be real, a lot of completely natural bodily functions are disgusting. Also telling an infertile couple that what they’re doing is gross isn’t really going to deter them or persuade them, the anti IVFers are going to have to get a lot better at this.
“a lot of natural bodily functions are disgusting” <— 100%! It’s not an argument. It is a reason to stop and ask, “why?” Maybe there’s something behind it. Maybe, like my four year old refusing any meal except poppyseed chicken casserole, there’s not.
I think you’re right that telling a couple their chosen course of action is “icky” will not be persuasive- however, perhaps this line of thinking would be helpful for infertile couples who find themselves resistant to IVF/ART and have a hard time explaining why. Many couples are ushered down the path of IVF and end up having bad experiences, maybe because they haven’t had the words or framework to figure out exactly why they were uncomfortable with going that route.
I need a Make Ick Great Again hat! Can I have the gift subscription? hannahheidtke@gmail.com
Oops haha sorry I'm late to the party on this one! Coming your way soon! :) Thanks for reading.
I agree with this: there’s some moral/ethical, doctrine/advisement/opinion-sharing broadly missing from daily life, for people who don’t have a regular religious practice. I’m not sure what this should look like, but I think about this a lot when thinking about how I might teach morality to my own future children with/without god as framework.
I have no qualms with those who are morally opposed to ivf and other fertility extending practices, but is this a moral opposition to the broader practice of biological material being used in an unnatural way? Where might stem cells for ex. fit into the moral framework?
My ivf-ick was highest when I imagined it as something that couldn't happen to me for whatever crunchy holier than thou reason. This correlated to spending too much time on instagram, where I would see influencers who I thought were too material or too aesthetic to thrive in motherhood doing ivf. I felt like I saw a trend online of women "buying" fertility and then attempting to go on to buy every aspect of motherhood (probably because instagram was their job and they had discount codes to shill--meanwhile I as rotting my brain for free.)
IRL I don't know a lot of ivf moms who fit this stereotype! With limited exception, most ivf moms have done exactly what I would do if I was *in their shoes*. If I were happily committed and could not conceive, of course I would be interested in ivf. Of course. It's easy to say they should break up and find a more compatible mate or accept nature's path for them or relax or what have you if you imagine that it could never happen to you. But if it really really happened to you, would you want to do any of these things?
So ick is great, biologically speaking, but it can also contain some really unfair bias. I think it is true that ivf is probably overprescribed and we need to look at other ways to increase fertility, and I genuinely wonder how couples reconcile the wasted embryos. But also I know that if I had to, I would reconcile them too.
I also think you’re not going to win people to your side and make a strong moral case against IVF by just saying it grosses you out, because let’s be real, a lot of completely natural bodily functions are disgusting. Also telling an infertile couple that what they’re doing is gross isn’t really going to deter them or persuade them, the anti IVFers are going to have to get a lot better at this.
“a lot of natural bodily functions are disgusting” <— 100%! It’s not an argument. It is a reason to stop and ask, “why?” Maybe there’s something behind it. Maybe, like my four year old refusing any meal except poppyseed chicken casserole, there’s not.
I think you’re right that telling a couple their chosen course of action is “icky” will not be persuasive- however, perhaps this line of thinking would be helpful for infertile couples who find themselves resistant to IVF/ART and have a hard time explaining why. Many couples are ushered down the path of IVF and end up having bad experiences, maybe because they haven’t had the words or framework to figure out exactly why they were uncomfortable with going that route.